When it comes to handing out names, celebrities are never shy of the quirky, outlandish or downright mad. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have form in this department naming their three children North, Saint and Chicago. 

The name of Kardashian-West #4 is the subject of huge levels of gossip and speculation with Kim’s friend La La Anthony, telling the press Kim “does always come up with the best names”.  

Let’s see if North, Saint and Chicago all agree when they hit the playground years… 

There’s no inkling whether they considered naming rights for their kids. It could be a money-spinner. Gucci, Burberry, Dolce & Gabbana; the list is endless and in the current celebrity-mad world, nothing can be ruled out. 

For the moment though, the names can be split into four categories: 

Family, Places, Homage and You’re Kidding, Right?

Family Names 

The first section, ‘normal’ includes some which are family-related. Donald, for example, might refer to President Trump but points to Kanye’s mother Donda. Then there is Ray, West’s father. The same treatment is meted to Kim’s parents, Robert and Kris. Surprisingly, the Jenner’s are snubbed; no Kendall, Chris, or Caitlyn on the list: 

Robert 8/1 
Jay 10/1 
Donald 14/1 
Ray 33/1 
Kris 33/1 
Abraham 50/1 
Kanye 66/1 
Louie/Louis 66/1 
Theodore 80/1 
Tyga 100/1 

Places 

The little is lucky that a surrogate mother is involved. No chance of an embarrassing fact being attached to their name as Brooklyn Beckham found. Nobody dared ask Madonna if Lourdes got her name for the same reason. 

That said, it hasn’t stopped some jokers thinking ‘Key’, ‘Miami’, or ‘Chicago’ being listed.  

A shame they didn’t include Paris or Munich; New York and London made the list. Who knows whether M suing for copyright breach of their #1 single Pop Muzik would succeed…! 

Key 40/1 
New York 150/1 
Milan 250/1 
Miami 300/1 
California 300/1 
London 300/1 
Minnesota 400/1 

Homage 

This is a short list, to be fair. Some brand protection as well, with The Artist Formerly Known As Kanye West considering, we imagine, Yeezy as a name as a homage to himself. With Kanye a possibility in the ‘Family’ category, maybe choosing Junior was too simple. It doesn’t show the right flair or ego.  

For the same reason, Kardashian is included here. A faux double-barrelled surname as his own name? All Kim and Kayne need to do is insert a hyphen and the illusion is complete. 

And we like the inclusion of Drake. If the parent/child is as bittersweet as the two rappers, the gossip columnists and headline writers will be kept in work for many years to come. 

Ye 25/1 
Prince 40/1 
Kardashian 200/1 
Yeezy 250/1 
Barack 300/1 
Drake 300/1 

It’s A Mad World 

Back in the day, it was obligatory for celebrities to christen their children after ingesting huge quantities of drugs. David Bowie thought Zowie put him into the ‘weird kids names’ but Frank Zappa was the king. Dweezil, along with his sisters Moon Unit and Diva Muffin set a high bar. 

But even that madness was consigned to history with rappers and celebs in the past decade taking the game to new and dangerous heights. Toni Braxton thought she was being wacky when she filled in the paperwork for Denim but that’s all relatively sane. Rapper T.I. is level pegging with Heiress Harris. If Kim and Kanye are to pick up the gauntlet, Shannyn Sossamon’s son Audio Science. Or Ashlee Simpson’s kids Bronx Mowgli & Jagger Snow raised the bar higher than Roger Moore’s eyebrow.  

I’m not sure they have the heart to rival Rainbow Aurora, Rocket Zot, Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart, Moxie CrimeFighter & Zolten or Pilot Inspektor?  

Then again, even a relatively simple name such as John would cause a snigger unless he wants to be a big fish in a little pond. 

Jesus 20/1 
West 66/1 
Future 80/1 
Weezy 250/1 
John 400/1 
Stephen 400/1 
David 400/1 
Bryan 400/1 
Michael 400/1 

All odds courtesy of Betfair.com 

The winner or our favourite at least is not on the list so far. In fact, it’s the 500/1 outsider, Paddy. In a mad world, that might just be the sanest of the lot! 

Published by Stuart Stratford

Stuart is a freelance writer based in the UK with more than a dozen years experience. He previously worked with Daily Mail betting, 10bet, Betway, Come On and a number of other international bookmakers, as well as ITV and Goal. Contact Stuart at stuart@aclfarsenal.co.uk.

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